What’s happened to you will inevitably inform and change the person you will become, but it shouldn’t define you. The past is something that none of us can escape from. It can’t be changed; there are no time machines.
Bad things happen, and we need to find a way to deal with them the best we can. Running from the past doesn’t work – it’s important to accept both the good and the bad. Good things should make you happy. And it’s ok to feel sad about the bad things. The problem comes if that sadness threatens to consume you, if something that happened years ago is still a fresh hurt because you never got the opportunity to confront it and deal with it.
Bad things happen. Really bad things. It’s a struggle not to blame yourself, especially as the victim of an assault or other traumatic experience that was outwith your control. You can’t help but think…what if? What if I hadn’t gone/worn that/kept quiet? But there are no time machines. The ‘what ifs’ will continue to torture you if you let them. And that’s not something you deserve.