Running to stand still

When I first became depressed, on a friend’s advice, I started running. I had never been a runner. At school, when we did cross-country, I always avoided it like the plague. But, having nothing to lose at this point, I downloaded a ‘Couch to 5k’ app onto my phone and out I went. And I ran/walked for half an hour. It was hard!!

Over time though, it got easier. And being outside doing something physical was not only good for my head, but as I began to build on how long I could run for, I felt a sense of achievement that I really, really needed at the time.

This first ’bout’ of running culminated in me running a 10k around Glasgow, and then running 5 miles around the Olympic grounds, before running on the Olympic track in London. I was pretty proud of myself.

Unfortunately, after that, everything started to go a bit wrong, both in terms of running and in terms of the rest of my life. This is because I began to really struggle to go outside by myself. The anxiety I’d been feeling at a low level for over a year took over my life completely, and I was stuck.

I have really struggled to cope with my anxiety. From what I can tell, anxiety is not logical, and seems to strike indiscriminately. However, recently I have begun to challenge it. Just last week, I went into Glasgow by myself – twice. Small things, maybe, but huge achievements for me.

So…it’s time to get back out running. On the 5th of June, I’m going to run another 10k, this time for SAMH. If you have the means, and would like to sponsor me, please go to my page at JustGiving.

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